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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
It spreads, like fire,
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival
(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
the name that cuts like a knife,
it's all that you see inside,
is breaking with every breath I take
the only thing I can't seem to face.
Battle in my MindEat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
In The Daylight
In The Daylight
A false downfall
An unexpected revival
Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness
In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest
I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic
I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid
A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete
Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
She does not have,
She has many of them.
A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.
If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.
She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.
She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
she will smile,
because she is truly happy alone.
She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl
Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile
I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you
If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down
Your gorgeous eyes
I love him.I love him. I do.
I love the way he can't hug me without cracking my back.
I love how angry he gets when I can't beat a video game.
I love how he will play the same song on repeat for weeks.
I love when he talks over me or rambles just to ignore what I'm saying.
I love how much taller than me he is.
I love how he's always warm.
I love his beautiful green eyes.
I love when he kisses me in the middle of a sentence.
I love the way my hand fits flawlessly in his, despite the size difference.
I love his heartbeat.
I love him.
The good. The bad.
For better. For worse.
I will always love everything about him.
From My LoveIt's something you just can't explain.
The feeling you get when you are six foot four and you get swept off your feet.
The breath leaving your lungs.
Your stomach doing flips.
Your brain going wild.
That scratches the surface, I'd say.
Although it won't do justice to the way she makes me feel.
The joy that's oh so real.
I can't comprehend sometimes the explosion of love I try to contain inside myself when I see her beautiful smile.
I feel like I have found it. The piece.
The one that fills the void.
It's strange, when everything you are used to is overwritten.
When the solemn unhappiness of jagged memories is melted down and for
InspirationWhere do my ideas come from?
What inspires me to write?
Why, that's easy. You, my love, are my inspiration.
You inspire me with your beautiful green eyes that tell all your secrets.
You inspire me with your hands that are so much bigger than mine, but touch me so gently.
You inspire me with your lips that whisper the sweetest of nothings; the most comforting words.
You inspire me with your warmth that makes everything okay.
When you say you love me,
or hold me tight,
When you look me in the eyes,
Or prevent a fight.
You don't see the way you move me.
You don't know what you mean to me.
If it's not clear to you now, I can never ex
MineI can describe the softness of your hands as they brush against my cheeks.
I can explain the rush of emotions when you meet my eyes.
I can tell you about the butterflies that take flight when you pull me close.
I can show you how much I want to keep you mine. Forever.
I can tell you what you mean to me. I can put my feelings into words. That's easy. I love you. I will always love you.
What I can't do, though, is describe the way it feels to wake up and see you when I first open my eyes. I can't explain why you're warmth in my bed is more soothing than anything else. I can't tell you why my nightmares run and hide when I have you by my s
True Love."You know you're in love with him, right?"
"Will you stop? He's my best friend. That's all there is to it."
"Then do me a favor."
"Picture him hugging some girl. Any girl. Picture him pulling her close and kissing her. Picture him falling asleep with her in his arms and making her feel like a princess. Can you see it?"
"Yes. Yes, I can see it."
"And how does that make you feel?"
"Fine, I guess."
"You don't look fine. You look bothered by it."
"Look, if this other girl, whoever she is, makes him happy and is what he wants, then that's all I want for him. I want him to be happy."
Have I ever told you...?"Have I ever told you that I love you?"
"Have I ever told you that you're amazing?"
"Have I ever told you that the weight of the world seems less crushing when you're around?"
"Yes, but I don't know why."
"Have I ever told you that I can breathe easier and sleep better when you're curled up with me in bed?"
"Have I ever told you that I hated cuddling until I met you?"
"Have I ever told you that my hand fits perfectly in yours? That our hearts always seem to be beating in sync? That I've never made a point to spend every single day with someone other than you? That you are the puzzle piece that make
Forever: My PromiseIf I held you near,
Played with your hair,
And whispered you to sleep,
Would you love me?
If I held your hand,
Met your eyes,
And strived for your heart,
Would you give it to me?
If I laid my feelings out,
As plain as daylight,
And spilled my deepest secrets,
Would you believe me?
These thoughts plagued me,
Day after day,
Night after sleepless night,
But I've finally found my answer.
I found what I was looking for
One night when you met my eyes
Cupped my cheek in your hand
And said to me:
Baby, I'll love you forever,
And then some.
I'll love you whether your hair is straight
Or your make up is on.
If you forget to call
Keep in Touch!
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More